Wringing hands… Wedding bells… Wonderful Memories…

It really is hard to say when wedding plans actually begin. I would submit they start even before the bride/groom are born. Parents cannot help but wonder and dream about the future they can help make for their child. Of course those are all hopes/dreams at that point. But those may still influence the expectations of the parents even decades later when the real planning begins.

And while we say time and again… it is your wedding… you do what you want. In almost every instance that was preceded… and likely followed up with… “but if it were me….”. As removed as I remained from some of the fine details… I still found myself doing that in the cases where I was consulted. And I heard it done… or echoed countless other times in discussions leading up to “The Event”. For the most part I just wrote checks. But I saw enough of what went into the planning to be glad I was not sucked into too many of the details… and to understand completely when all sides of the debates reached out in frustration.  Thus the Wringing Hands portion of the title.

Leading up to the wedding I found myself reflecting heavily on the last 20 some years… watching my little girl grow into her own woman. I think I even stated during my remarks at the reception… I am still not sure how I went from “daddy”… to Father of the Bride… Father in-law. This was Jesse’s Birthday party (2010)…with James in orange shirt (then white)… and Amie reacting to the pie fight before escaping. I would not trade all the excitement and memories for anything! The memories I hold in my heart are truly precious to me. The wedding has simply added to those. In the end… the plans came together!

Now comes “The Event”! How often do things go according to plan? I am pleased to say in this case… things fell into place pretty well. Then again… I do not know just how many cowboys we had wrangling that herd… but the fact they all seemed to drive things in pretty much the same direction… says a lot for those making and communicating the plans.

The closest thing I saw to a disaster was a heavy downpour we (bride’s party) got caught in trying to get some pictures outside before the event. We knew the risk was high as people had grabbed umbrellas. I remember saying before it got bad “Hey ya’ll… I think it is about to rain. Should we move under cover?”. No body moved… Next thing I know people are huddled under umbrellas trying to scurry into covered doorways. I tried to herd the group to a large covered patio next to the reception hall… but couldn’t get them out of the doorway they found. So when I heard… “Get the Truck!!! …” with a few explanative statements regarding my intelligence and reaction time … I ran and got the truck. I drove it over as close to the doorway as I could get... when I hollered “jump in!” … I got a few looks that… equated to visual  explanative statements regarding my intelligence and reaction time. But soon we were all in the vehicles… drip drying our way to the Chapel.

At that moment… it did not seem too funny… but in the long run I expect we can spin that one into all sorts of stories of our choosing. We were soon drip drying in the basement of the chapel… trying to recover some of the curls and fluff. Honestly… the downpour simply could not dampen the beauty of the Bride or the Maid of Honor. They both continued to glow!

I ran upstairs and got the Live Stream going for those who could not physically attend. Then also made the rounds saying hi… and telling everyone about the fun we had dodging raindrops. When all seemed in order topside… I ran back downstairs to see how the recovery measures were going there. Before I knew it… they were telling us to line up to get the show on the road! And what a show it was!!!

Amie was as nervous… as anyone would expect a young bride to be. I tried to lighten the moment by saying… “Hey… the doors right there if you wanna run…”? I don’t think she even heard me. Next thing was getting her up the stairs at the back of the chapel without her tripping over her train. Between three or four of us we got’er done. Next thing I know they are throwing open the doors… and there are all these faces staring at us (most smiling). I would honestly love to see a picture of the look on Amie’s and my faces… as those doors first swung open. How does one’s face convey about a million and one emotions? I think we both put on our best parade smiles as quickly as possible… but I am curious just how much of the emotional swirl that initial picture might convey?   

It all seemed like a blur from there to me. I kept trying to recall my advice to her… “take a deep breath every once in a while… then take a good look around… making sure to appreciate and soak up as many of the moments as you can”! But that is not always easy to do.

I felt the ceremony went extremely well! I was thrilled with the job our home church pastor (Cliff Schroeder) did with keeping things happy, serious, and moving! And I was every bit as proud of how Amie and James did… wrangling their emotions and following the pastor’s lead. The Best Man and Maid of Honor were flawless in their parts. I guess I would say that… it all went perfectly… according to script… with just the right amount of human emotion and character sprinkled in to make it real, fun and memorable!

I heard there were pools on when/if various wedding party members would cry. People asked me if I hadn’t teared up during their favorite parts. I think I was just so happy to be sharing in those moments with dear friends and family… that I stayed on the happy side of the emotions all day. Of course… I am one that tends to tear up more for the happy/warm moments… more so than others. But I think I made it through that day without a one. Then days later heard my daughter (who also held together extremely well that day) say something about how special some of the moments were that night… and how after the ceremony some of them caught up with her finally contributing to an emotional spill. Then it caught up with me too!

I would have to say the reception was a SMASH! Crack of the bat… HOME RUN… all the way! Maybe I am a little bias. The only thing that may have approximated a screw up… was the poor Father of the Bride spiel. Yes… that would be me. They gave me a pretty simple set of instructions. Welcome everyone, thank them for coming, say a few things (if you really feel you must… but keep it short), and say Grace before the meal. I had prepared… I had rehearsed… but got caught up and cut out where I shouldn’t have… embellished where I shouldn’t have… maybe wrapped it up with a passable prayer? I suspect God laughed some like others and said…”OK… I’ll cut you some slack”. All except for my son Jesse who was holding up a “WRAP IT UP!” banner scrolling on his phone!     

But that was all soon forgotten after some good food and fun! They did some wonderful activities… that have me anxious to see the photos once they are ready. For one… they forewarned us all the bride and groom would be running around to each table to get a picture with us… so to get ready for a very quick pose as they passed by. Some of the tables nailed this with some very creative ideas! They also did a shoe game… where the bride and groom sat back to back… each with one of their shoes… and one of the other’s shoes. Then they asked questions… and they had to answer by holding up the shoe of whoever that was most applicable to. Like who is the most decisive?… James immediately held up his shoe… meanwhile Amie starts alternating, then finally holds up James’s shoe also.

Then came the dances. We nailed the daddy/daughter dance… meaning we did not fall or trip… and I did not run her into anyone or anything. It was nice to have a moment with her smiling and laughing and ignoring everyone else. I was so happy with how it was all going I think I was beaming… but couldn’t hold a candle to that beautiful bride! Don’t tell me there is anyone more sweet or beautiful in this whole world because I know better! I know I was my old clumsy self… but I felt just like I was floating… just like walking down the isle.

Before long everyone was dancing (that could) and the rest of us could relax and enjoy. One of the highlights was the twist. My Aunt got up and was showing all the young people how it was supposed to be done. Then one of the young guys twisted his way down… and my Aunt tried to show him she could keep up… and she did… until he got back up. And she couldn’t… well she eventually did with a little help. But when she did… she struck a pose like a gymnast  at the end of their floor routine… and the whole place applauded!

Another highlight was having all the married couples come up. Then he started eliminating them… who’s been married less than 12 hours… 6 months… 1 year… 5 years… 10 years… eventually it was down to my brother Howard and sister in-law Beth vs my brother in-law Neel and sister in-law Charlea. Howard and Beth lost out by a couple of years. Then he asked Neel and Charlea the “secret” to a happy marriage … and Neel said… “I’d rather be happy… than right.”. Nobody could argue with that!

Before we knew it… it was time for the send off. They sent James and Amie out one way… we all headed out another and lined up with some glow stick, fiber optic, light saber things. Somebody mentioned it looked like we were all lined up to flog them on their way through… somebody else said “only verbally, not physically”! So we all wished them well on their way through… and they jumped in a decorated vehicle… completed with cans clanging along behind… and just like that… it was all said and done!

This is when I figured I would break down. Sometimes that relief from emotion… comes along with a release of emotion… but I was still floating. About then I realized I had been floating all night… with very few trips to the bar. I was running on a true emotional high… and haven’t really come down. I felt no sense of loss… just the sense we gained in family… and even more so in precious memories.

Wow… What a ride life can be!